How to procrastinate in 10 easy missteps

We had friends to dinner this weekend and while I love to entertain, it means I have to do  detestable things like vacuum and go to the grocery store on a Saturday. So I did what any experienced procrastinator would do – everything but what was on my list.

In case you are not a natural procrastinator, here are some things you can do to suck time out of your day:

  1. Pick up the newspaper. Read the whole thing, even the Saturday business page.
  2. Pick up the phone when it rings and talk for a very long time.
  3. Make tapioca pudding for breakfast. Bonus for this one – because it has to cool you get to procrastinate twice, once when you assemble it and once, later, to eat it.
  4. Wash your hair even though you are headed to the gym in the afternoon.
  5. Check email frequently because, as you know, you receive many meaningful work-related emails on Saturday.
  6. Browse a few million websites on how to assemble a perfect antipasto.
  7. Engage in spontaneous discussion with daughter about what color you might paint her room. Actually pull out paint swatches and tape them to the wall. (Daughter is Junior Champion procrastinator in her own right.)
  8. Spend an unwarranted amount of time deciding which dinner napkins to use.
  9. Clean out the refrigerator.
  10. Blog about procrastinating.

And thus went my day so that even though I had ample time to prepare, I was still pressed for time as dinner approached. Perhaps the saddest thing of all – I didn’t publish this post until Sunday. In other words, I even managed to put off my procrastinating.

(By the way, in case you’re wondering, I would say my antipasto platter was merely average.)

Professional procrastinator or rank amateur? What’s your best procrastinating technique?

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