Oh, laundry – it didn’t have to be this way

In my heart, laundry, I feel like we could have had a better relationship, you and I. Perhaps if you’d waited for me in the orderly fashion I desired – whites with whites, delicates with IMG_0472delicates – we could have found a way to coexist. Or if you’d made even the slightest effort to stay folded in the drawers instead of ending up in a wrinkled, tangled mess. But you’ve made no attempt whatsoever to make my life easier. If there is to be any future for us, laundry, you must not, anymore:

  • Hide under beds, at the bottom of closets, in gym bags, and under car seats. Even though I know you are there it is agony to seek you out, over and over again.
  • Show up in the laundry basket when I know you are clean, in fact, just washed. Oh why, laundry, do you punish me in this way?
  • Exceed many times over what is practical for the number of people in this household. I see them each day, wearing the same clothes they not only slept in, but wore the day before – how is it possible that you multiply so? Is it just to taunt me?
  • Appear before me in such a disgraceful state – soiled, wrinkled, smelly, stained with God knows what. It tears me apart, laundry, it really does.

I know, laundry, that I could improve, too. I know I start out with the best intentions, laundering you in a practical, reasonable way – carefully sorting and calibrating the right water temperature. But I admit that after a day with you, I often find myself throwing you into the washer at random without any regard to your care label, not caring if you shrink or pill. And I’m sorry, truly, but at some point I hit the limit of what I can endure.

So how shall we go forward, laundry? Is it to stay this way between us always? Or can we change, coexist peacefully, get along even for just a day? Tell me – what is it to be? I just heard the buzzer on the dryer so the time for truth is now.

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14 thoughts on “Oh, laundry – it didn’t have to be this way

    • No, Lydia, I would say this makes you one of the luckiest people on earth, especially if there is more laundry in your future! (Congrats, by the way.)

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  1. You know what I can never understand… I never lose any item of clothing in my house – apart from socks, but never the pair, just a single sock. I have so many odd socks I’ve had to start making ‘new pairs’ for my kids, of co-ordinated odd socks lol

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    • We have lost large items over the years and I can’t imagine what happened to them – sweatshirts, a baby blanket, even a pair of long underwear. Where does all the lost laundry go?

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  3. I send out my laundry (it’s one of those things people in NYC do), but I still do my son’s clothing and my delicates…and I really and truly hate it. It just keeps multiplying! Is it a Gremlin thing? Are the socks having sex like bunnies in the basket? Seriously, what is going on?! I will never make peace with this, but I wish you luck in doing so!

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    • I don’t know about you, but when we hit summer the socks are truly disgusting. Caked with dirt. Sometimes I soak them for a whole day before I wash them in a feeble effort to get them clean.

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  5. I really dislike laundry as well. 🙂 I just found two damp beach towels stuffed in a duffle bag for at least a week. Yuck.

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    • Ugh. Wet, abandoned laundry is my least favorite. I found some that was moldy one day – and I mean fuzzy with mold. Made me gag out loud.

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