Love, actually

I hear the muttering – the under-the-breath comments you don’t have the nerve to say too loudly. I know we don’t always agree. But it’s not my role to agree with you all the time.

Part of my job as your mom is to make unpopular decisions. To tell you no. To correct your behavior. I know that sometimes you interpret that to mean that I don’t love you. That I’m not of your side.

But it’s not true. I do love you, even if I don’t always express it in the way you expect. If I didn’t love you:

  • IMG_0165I wouldn’t make you wear a hat and gloves to school.
  • I wouldn’t spend hours shopping and cooking to put interesting, healthy food on the table even though I know at least one of you will refuse to eat it.
  • I wouldn’t make you redo your math problems when you get them wrong the first time.
  • I wouldn’t make your bed for you when you should be making it yourself.
  • I wouldn’t drive you all over the universe and spend entire days sitting on a cold, metal bench just to watch you lose a heartbreaking game.
  • I wouldn’t turn your dirty socks right-side out before I wash them.
  • I wouldn’t make you go to bed on time, eat your vegetables, and check in your phone at night.
  • I wouldn’t let you see the real me, faults and all. What better way for you to know that people are imperfect and you can love them anyway.

I wouldn’t tell you that winning isn’t everything. That self-respect is. That you are loved but you need to be your own best friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves. I am always on your side. And I know you love me, too, whether you say it or not.

23 thoughts on “Love, actually

  1. This is so true. I’ve said some of these to my kids as well. I once said, “If I didn’t love you, I’d let you eat candy for dinner.” That one didn’t go over very well. Visiting from #SITSBlogging.


    1. Thank you. I’m not the mushy sort – this is about as sentimental as I get. I’m sure it will result in years of therapy for my children. Happy Valentine’s Day!


  2. So beautiful, thank you for sharing 🙂 My daughter is only 4.5 and boy can she and I have some power struggles. Recently I’ve learned to back off on a lot of the things that don’t really matter and that’s helped, but it’s tough having two strong willed firstborns in the same house. Sometimes she tells me I’m a bad mommy, but that’s okay. Sometimes I feel like she’s a “bad” kid, but I know that she’s not and I’m just frustrated. And anyway, sometimes she’s right. Sometimes I am a bad mom and it’s good to have that accountability.


    1. Mine are all at the teen/tween age. Not sure what’s worse, the power struggles or the indifference. Oh well, if parenting were easy it would just lead to massive overpopulation.


  3. It wasn’t until I became a parent myself that I finally appreciated all the “mean” things my parents did when I was a kid! My kids think I am mean a lot of the time too, but I hope that they will appreciate me someday too!


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