They’ve blinded me with science

IMG_0594And failed me in geometry, history, technology – you name it. My kids, that is.

Children are curious creatures, and mine are no exception. On a fairly regular basis, I emerge from sleep only to be hit with a question that has been burning in one of their little brains all night. I like to call this phenomenon the Unanswerable Question of the Day.

I know some of these have answers based in scientific theory or historical fact, but frankly, before I’ve had my first cup of coffee (or two), they make my eyes bug out.

So, dear readers, how would you answer the following?

  1. If you were a dragon, and you had a mouthful of water, how many noodles do you think you could cook in there?
  2. Would fire float in space?
  3. Did William Tell ever accidentally kill someone when he was shooting an apple off their head?
  4. What would have been better to own in the 1600’s – a weapons store, a farm equipment store, or a grocery store?
  5. Could the cat have kittens if we hadn’t had her sockets removed?
  6. When the Spartans rowed into battle, did the rowers also fight, or did they just row?
  7. What happens if you’re a T-Rex, and you want a baby T-Rex, but you accidentally poop out a caveman?
  8. Do trees feel pain?

Thus my problem. I don’t even know if William Tell was a real person, and I’m more than a little distressed at the idea that trees might feel pain.

Sigh. Time for that next cup of coffee.

 

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “They’ve blinded me with science

  1. These are fantastic. Okay!

    – If you were a dragon, and you had a mouthful of water, how many noodles do you think you could cook in there?

    How big a dragon are we talking, exactly? If you do a quick google image search you’ll see a wide range of species of varying sizes. Or just rent How To Train Your Dragon. Of course the answer is most probably “none” because dragons aren’t generally known to oblige when it comes to mouth noodle cooking.

    – Would fire float in space?

    How would you be burning something in space? There’s no air. You’d have to be inside an air-containing space craft which would probably be on some sort of trajectory. Within the space craft the fire would either be floating (if the thing burning was floating) or not floating (because who would let fire float around their space craft)?

    – Did William Tell ever accidentally kill someone when he was shooting an apple off their head?

    I’m with you – I want to know how much of that story is apocryphal.

    – What would have been better to own in the 1600’s – a weapons store, a farm equipment store, or a grocery store?

    Where is the store?

    – Could the cat have kittens if we hadn’t had her sockets removed?

    Sockets lol! Now you’re just messing with me.

    – When the Spartans rowed into battle, did the rowers also fight, or did they just row?

    I’m just guessing but I’m assuming they all fought. Supply trains weren’t what they are now. I would like to google that later.

    – What happens if you’re a T-Rex, and you want a baby T-Rex, but you accidentally poop out a caveman?

    Messing. With. Me. 🙂

    – Do trees feel pain?

    There is no evidence to suggest that trees have the neuroanatomical structures necessary for that kind of perception and information processing.

    Like

  2. Whoa. These are serious (and yes, unanswerable) questions. I could probably think up some witty answers if I could get back to them. But you know, the kids usually want it RIGHT NOW. They have no time to wait…unless we’re waiting on them, and that’s a whole different story. Then they have all the time in the world. But I digress…I guess this is where the awesome answer a question with a question comes in, “I don’t know. What do YOU think?” But you’ve probably already tried that!

    Like

  3. There was once a British TV show called ‘tales of the unexpected’. This was written by legendary children’s author Roald Dahl. In one episode a scientist invented a machine that could hear the sounds trees made. Their language, if you like. The sounds the trees made while being cut down were horrifying and have stayed with me for years. Nice post😀

    Like

  4. I’ve had my share of these questions too, and learned to pay attention. Frequently, there was more going than the naked question might have indicated. I remember a morning about 21 years ago when my eldest walked in on me in the bathroom. He was five at the time. This was before my first cup of coffee of the day.

    Christopher: Daddy, what’s six divided by five?
    Me: Huh? What’s what?
    Christopher: What’s six divided by five?
    Me: [gears grinding] Uh…let’s see…uhhhh…one point two.
    Christopher: Then each mark on the clock is twelve minutes.
    Me: No, each mark on the clock is one minute, Christopher.
    Christopher: No, Daddy, with the hour hand.

    If I hadn’t answered his question that morning, I might not have been fully prepared for what was to follow.

    Like

  5. Here’s the answer: “Let me teach you how to use a library/use a search engine”. Or “Let me show you how to blog.” Have you tried Khan Academy?

    Like

Comments are closed.