My own worst enemy

IMG_0164Imaginary friend you say? Sure, I see her in the mirror every day. Had coffee with her just this morning. But I’m not sure I’d call her a friend. She’s a harsh critic.

“Looking a little gray,” she’ll say. “And worn out. You look like you could use a nap.”

“No time for a nap,” I snap back. “Too much to do.”

“You wouldn’t have so much to do if you were more organized. You were home half the day yesterday. What, exactly, did you accomplish?”

“Are you kidding? I did a ton. I raced off to an early morning meeting. Did the grocery shopping. Washed and folded three loads of laundry. I checked in on my pending projects. Spent two hours helping H. study for a test. Made dinner. Plus it was my day on the carpool. How is that nothing?”

“Well, it still looks like a cesspool around here. You didn’t get all that laundry put away, did you? And there’s more to do. It’s late October already. Have you thought about cleaning up the yard? Washing the windows? Having the furnace checked? The holidays will be here before you know it. Any plans there?”

I can feel my pulse quicken. My head start to pound. This chick is the worst.

“You said you’d get the house in order before this project kicks off. Clean off your desk. When are you going to do those things? You’re running out of time!”

“It’s not that bad,” I say, not really believing it.

“Well, I don’t see many items checked off that to-do list.”

Silence.

I wish I could see less of this friend. But if it weren’t for her, I’d be alone much of the time. What’s worse, isolation or constant reflection? Is there an in-between? A way to turn this nag into a motivating force? If there is, I can’t see it.

“Alright, I’m done here,” I say. “I’m headed to yoga class.”

“I’ll get my coat,” she says.

“Sorry, you can’t come,” I say, with, I admit, a great deal of satisfaction. “It’s the one place you aren’t welcome.”

I feel myself relax as I shut the door in her face, start the car, head down the driveway. But I know she’ll be there when I get back. Just hope she’s made some more coffee as she awaits my return.

This is a Daily Post #postaday piece. Read other posts here

 

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28 thoughts on “My own worst enemy

  1. This, too, is MY life!!!!! That is…..without the carpool and children and it’s STILL this way!!!!! 🙂

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  2. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Imaginary Friend | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

  3. No-one can make you feel worse than you can make yourself feel. It’s so common you think we’d all be aware and learn to deal with it, but that woman is a sneaky one and has so many ways to get in your head!

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  4. I wrote about this very thing. I HATE HER! I know, hate it a strong word, but some of the stuff she slings at me is pretty hateful too! Hugs, and keep that snarky lady out of yoga. 🙂

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  5. Pingback: Hello, it’s the universe calling… | Parent Your Business

  6. Ouch this was the other day Sometimes you need to tell that friend to get lost.

    Oh My the look on my bosses face when I told him some choice words and that I needed a day off to go to West Side Skydive | Skydiving in Minneapolis, Twin Cities, and Minnesota to make sure I was feeling ok. Good thing the mirror does not have ears

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  7. One thing prayer taught me many years ago is not to be hard on myself or others. I love being this way and have actually retrained my brain through the years to allow myself to mess up, be lazy, etc without any self condemnation. As a child of abusive and very critical parents, this was hard to do, but it can be done. Don’t ever let anyone talk bad to you, even yourself, because you are simply too awesome and that’s a fact you know.

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  8. She really is an annoying friend, isn’t she? And she seems to be everywhere! We really are our own worst critics. Beautifully put, stopping by from SITS.

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