Could I be…socially awkward?

Gem_Tuesday_ButtonIn her link-up today, Charity at The Wounded Dove asks us to post about a parenting fear. Well, my kids are a little older now, so in addition to the standard fears about their safety, nutrition, health, friends, grades, etc., etc., I’ve added a new one.

What if I really am the dork they think I am?

It’s clear they think I’m ridiculous – every instruction I issue, every idea I suggest. (I once overheard my youngest son parody me with the following snarky phrase: “Let’s watch a G-rated movie while eating healthy snacks.”)

And, lest I cause them great public embarrassment, they would rather I didn’t:

  • Like any pop music even though I am forced to listen to it every minute I’m in the car. (Or at least not admit to it.)
  • Sing.
  • Wear my puffy winter coat into their school even if it is -20.
  • Sit in the same movie theater.
  • Volunteer at a school dance.
  • Dance.
  • Display my affection for them in front of another human being.
  • Talk to them at any public event.
  • Talk to any of their friends, ever.
  • Talk to any of their friends’ parents.

They’d probably be happiest if I never talked at all. I have to admit, even I’m sick of some of my more frequent quotes:

  • Close your mouth and eat your food.
  • Can you please use your head for something other than holding up your hair?
  • You people would try the patience of a saint, and I’m no saint.
  • Rise and shine, especially the rise part.
  • This is not a diner!
  • The family dinner is highly overrated (nearly always stated during dinner).

I’m sure they find the constant repetition of these words, and the frustration that usually accompanies them, beneath contempt – and will continue to do so, at least until the day they hear themselves saying this stuff to their own kids.

Lucky for me, my self-esteem should hold up to the constant negative reinforcement. To all you parents who find yourselves in the same boat, who have aged out of “cool”, don’t worry – your popularity will soar the minute your kids need a ride somewhere.