Tag: relaxation

#5: How to relax and enjoy your children

desertToday’s installment of Search Terms of the Sad and Desperate, where I offer advice to visitors whose search terms hit my blog, tackles the thorny topic: “How to relax and enjoy your children.

Is this a question or a personal development program? If the latter, I should probably sign up.

Because even I, who am able to dispense completely unqualified advice on many topics, cannot answer this one. I’ve never actually done both things at once. I am able to relax on occasion, even with the children present, but to say that I am enjoying them in those moments might be going a little too far.

Why, you ask? Well, if I could ignore the multitude of dangers that lurk around every corner, pretend I’m not putting off a huge list of inevitable tasks to spend time with them, and navigate their constant squabbles I guess I might be able to relax.

I’ve never professed to be a fun mom. I make no apologies. Fun is not my natural state. For me, life is not a garden of earthly delights. It’s more like an overgrown plot of intriguing weeds. (And for my children I’ll add, “Sorry, grow where you are planted.”)

So I think I’ve met my match here. This question requires a professional relaxation consultant.

Read the series:

Anxiety dreams involving my kids 

How do I talk to my surly teen? 

I have only one child but laundry and housework never end

Life is not a competition

 

A disclaimer: While it perhaps shouldn’t need saying, let me remind you that I have no credentials, training or certifications of any kind that would qualify me to mete out advice to anyone. This is a humor blog. If you don’t find it funny, well, that’s another issue.

Relax and enjoy? How?

When I started my practice of yoga many asanas ago, the hardest thing for me to do was the end-of-class relaxation exercise. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should be doing something else. It’s clear I don’t have a restful mind. I’ve been known to craft limericks during meditation. I don’t think I could manage even a desktop zen-garden. You know, the ones with the tiny rakes? Too concerned one of the cats would use it as a litter box.

So here it is, July in Minnesota and six weeks into my experiment with the no-nanny summer and I just can’t seem to relax and enjoy it. Whether I’m working in my office, copywriting at the bowling alley (the kids bowl, not me) or taking a few hours off at the beach with a good read, I can’t shake the feeling I should be doing something else. Really, isn’t this what the self-employeds among us strive for – the flexibility to take life as it comes? So why doesn’t it seem like enough?

This is where I usually offer my take on ways to manage so I’ll attempt it again with this caveat – I’m still working on them myself:

  • Prioritize. Every task has its place in the hierarchy and honestly, some can wait until fall. If this is a struggle, see my nifty method for bouncing items off your to-do list.
  • Enjoy it while you can. As every parent knows, the endless soccer games, summer camp programs, and recorder concerts will be over before you know it, and you’ll miss them when they are. (OK, maybe not the recorder concerts.)
  • Relax your standards a little. Summer throws every parent off-base, regardless of how your work and life are structured. So what if the kids watch a little too much TV (there, I said it) or we don’t seem to have the laundry done? It’s not like that laundry is going anywhere.

So once again, I resolve to enjoy our fleeting summer. The alternative isn’t any fun, is it?

Happily, I’m now able to indulge myself in the end-of-yoga-class relaxation. Perhaps I’m aided by exhaustion. I sometimes fall asleep, so soundly I actually dream. Just hope someone nudges me if I start to snore.

How do you relax and recharge? Post your comments or send them to sarah@dayonebusinessservices.com – if I use them I’ll feature your business.